Game Changer

The thing I want most in life is undeniably a magic carpet. I spend wayyyy too much time thinking about this which is depressing on many levels. But, the magic carpet would seriously be the most amazing invention of all time. Screw you penicillin, birth control pills, and the dishwasher. Why are we wasting valuable scientific brain power on cancer research when there is no magic carpet yet?  JUST THINK ABOUT IT. IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND. No traffic jams and accompanying air pollution. No hideous bus commute to the hideous suburbs where I and many other innocent city dwellers have the misfortune to work. No standing downtown with bloody blisters on your feet and broken stilettos in your hands whilst simultaneously sobbing, texting, and fruitlessly attempting to hail a cab. Just try to think of a downside. THERE ISN’T ONE. It’s a MAGIC carpet, which negates any potential problems with the concept and also implies climate control, beverage options, and any other wondrous amenity one can conjure. It could have save J Lo’s 4th marriage or whatever number she was up to. Ugh this is hurting my brain. Happy Friday mofos.

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